


Pleasant is the Fairyland

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Tam Lin - Pamela Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-19
Updated: 2006-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1629767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Children only listen if you talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pleasant is the Fairyland

**Author's Note:**

> Blackstock College is a lightly fictionalized version of Carlton College, Pamela Dean's alma mater. I have never attended Iowa State's College of Agriculture or Cornell College, although they are both real. However, they are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to the actual colleges is highly coincidental.
> 
> Written for sahiya

 

 

_**From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: SISTER: My Future in Ruins  
Date: 10/15/1995** _

_Bert, Mother is being entirely unreasonable. I want to go to Blackstock  
College. It's a lot like her school, without actually being Cornell  
College of Iowa. I don't want to be somewhere where I'm 'Professor  
Lane's daughter', but I want to be near family. Grandma and Grandpa will  
do nicely, I should think._

_I don't want to go to Iowa State. It's fine for you, Liberty, you want  
to be a horticulturalist, and you can't learn about *that* at Cornell.  
But ISU is far too big for undergraduate work in the liberal arts. And  
I'm sure they have small colleges near Daddy, but I don't want to live  
in Chicago. Which I know means I'll have to get a real job to support my  
passion for theater in the sticks, but I have made my peace with that._

_Love, your sister._

* * *

__

_**From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: re: SISTER: My Future in Ruins  
Date: 10/16/1995** _

_Honor, this would probably have gone over better if you hadn't spent all  
of junior and senior high school saying you were going to Cornell, that  
it was the best college in the world, and that I was a poopyhead for  
going to the College of Agriculture._

_You're right, though, it is weird. I don't think it's the money, because  
you should get a faculty discount through Grandpa, and otherwise it  
should be about the same. Why don't you call Dad and see if you can get  
him on your side?_

_Love, your brother._

_P.S. That poopyhead comment was more right than you know. I'm taking a  
class where I have to identify spoor (wild animal shit.) I'm thinking  
about either doing the forestry major or staying five years and  
double-majoring, so I'm keeping my options open. I know I want to deal  
with plants but maybe a greenhouse isn't the way to go._

* * *

__

_**From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: re: SISTER: My Future in Ruins  
Date: 10/18/1995** _

_Daddy is worse than Mommy. He is absolutely insane on the issue of  
Blackstock, blew up at me on the phone, went into a biting rage, quoted  
*Lear* at me. I hung up the phone on him. I know you shout back, but I  
can't do that sort of thing off stage. Theatrics belong in a theater,  
don't you think?_

_Anyway, I'll give Grandpa a try._

_Love, your charming and well-mannered sister_

* * *

__

_**From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: SISTER: My Hero  
Date: 10/18/1995** _

_That's Grandpa, not you, poopyhead. He talked Mommy off the ledge, and I  
am allowed to go to Blackstock, provided, of course, that the Admissions  
Office finds me acceptable._

_Apparently the great freakout was caused by some evil professor that  
Mommy and Daddy had in college. Mommy spoke obliquely since I was there,  
but I think there was inappropriate intimate contact (i.e. sex!)_

_In any case, I am absolutely forbidden from becoming a Classics major or  
taking classes from any female classics professors, but otherwise I may  
pursue my education as I (and my advisor) please._

_Love, your clever and persistent sister_

_P.S. Wash your hands!_

* * *

__

_**From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: SISTER: Welcome to the real world  
Date: 10/20/1995** _

_If there's some question about the admissions office at Blackstock  
accepting you, you should apply to Cornell and ISU as backup schools.  
And get a math tutor!_

_Love, your practical and soapy brother._

* * *

__

_**From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: SISTER: I'm in!  
Date: 04/11/1996** _

_I got the fat letter from Blackstock today! Mommy and I will be filling  
out all of the financial stuff this weekend and sending it in._

_Love, your nearly-a-college-freshman sister._

* * *

__

_**From: editor.idletheme@blackstock.edu  
Lcc: Interested Freshman 96  
Subject: The Literary Magazine Wants You  
Date: 9/11/1996** _

_You are receiving this e-mail because you indicated you intend to become  
an English or Classics major, or because you listed 'literary magazine'  
as one of your high school extracurriculars._

_Weak and Idle Theme is Blackstock College's literary magazine, and we  
definitely want you to join our staff. The magazine publishes poetry and  
short fiction each term, and sponsors a series of one act play readings  
during winter term._

_If you are interested in being a slush readerreading, copyediting,  
soliciting advertising, or dramatic reading, please come to our interest  
meeting Saturday at noon in rehearsal room 15 in the Music and Drama  
Center. Cheese and pepperoni pizzas will be provided. (Food is 15% of  
our operating budget!)_

_Editor, Mabel M._

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: Re: Finding your path  
Date: 09/15/1996** _

_Hah! I was only lost for the first two days on campus. That is the  
advantage of a) going to a small, liberal arts college, as opposed to  
Cyclone City and b) landing a roommate who is local. Jenny's uncle knew  
Mommy in high school. I can't decide if it was or wasn't likely that I  
ran into someone with connections, however tenuous, to Mommy. The town  
isn't *that* small, but the people she knew probably are concentrated  
around Blackstock._

_I don't know how I feel about Jenny as a person. She is a MUSICIAN  
MUSICIAN and sings all the time. She has four instruments in the room:  
electronic keyboard, flute, saxophone, and a wind instrument I haven't  
identified. But when she stops making music and starts talking, she's  
pretty funny. She quotes 30's and 40's musicals, and then tells you the  
plot of them. She's smart and exotic looking, but not exactly pretty,  
and she is not, thank god, a morning person._

_Classes so far seem easy, perhaps too easy. Maybe it doesn't help that  
I'm taking Chem for Poets and Bio for Poets, but I do want to get my  
distribution requirements over with right away. Grandpa assures me that  
Professor Tinden is an excellent choice for Survey of English  
Literature, although he thinks I should have skipped Survey and gone  
straight to Shakespeare._

_Tell me more about Germany. If the forest is not very big and scary, why  
on Earth do they call it the Black Forest? Do the German girls  
appreciate your face? You are so lucky to take after Daddy._

_Love, your sister_

_P.S. I will be coordinating a play reading series for the literary  
magazine. Apparently, everyone who worked on it has graduated, so I am  
just as experienced as any of the returning students._

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: Monthly status report  
Date: 10/01/1996** _

__Academic__

_Grandpa was wrong on the question of Survey vs. Shakespeare. I am  
entirely ignorant of the Elizabethans (excluding WS) and the Romantics  
and Chaucer, etc. Prof. Tinden is a dream. She loves everything and she  
makes me understand why she loves it and she is great, even if when I  
don't like the *text*._

_Science for Poets (the two courses run together in my head, since we  
started in both of them by with DNA) is deadly, deadly dull, but my  
roommate Jenny is in the bio class, so we poke each other awake. Chem  
contains a lovely young man named Seth who graciously pokes me there.  
(Fear not, Mother, Seth is a Kinsey 6 who gets nauseated at the thought  
of naked girls. I will not have a Liberty Of My Very Own to plague you  
with.) Labs for chemistry are going pretty well, but the labs for  
biology not so much. It seems that half of our specimens do not have all  
of the proper organs. Someone sneaks them in there the night before we  
show this to the professor and inserts the missing bits. Jenny is  
considering investing in a polaroid camera._

__Social__

_Seth is a sophomore who is perfectly happy to hang out around girls with  
their clothes on. He has introduced me to a bunch of music majors. They  
do not get along with my roommate Jenny, who is also a music major.  
Jenny does modern atonal music, but Seth's crowd is popular music  
oriented, and never the twain shall meet. Thankfully, Jenny appears to  
have found a group of people who play bridge(!) at all hours of the  
night, and is quite content with their company whenever Seth, Katie,  
Sarah, Michael, or Melissa is over._

_There are also a group of juniors in our dorm who are Very Serious about  
watching television. I drop in for a very silly show about FBI Agents  
who investigate ghosts on Friday nights, and sometimes Star Trek on  
Saturday afternoons. I went down Wednesday for Law & Order once, but  
that's too straightforward for my tastes. No one ever talks, but there's  
always food available**, and they don't mind if you bring a book._

_I have joined the literary magazine, to solicit advertising and organize  
the winter term playreadings (which means both reading through the play  
slush pile and finding actors or readers for it.) They started the  
playreadings six or seven years ago because the old advisor retired and  
their new faculty sponsor was in theater. The editor is a gorgeous  
senior with the entirely unfortunate name of Mabel. I am a little bit in  
love with her, but so is the entire staff of the literary magazine. On  
the one hand, I feel comforted that I am not, apparently, turning into a  
lesbian, but on the other hand, I am jealous that they've all had more  
time to orbit her magnificence._

_Love, your daughter_

_P.S. Why is the food so much worse than Cornell? Or did I only eat  
dessert at Cornell? In any case, my freshman fifteen is a *negative*  
fifteen._

_**P.P.S Please send cookies, so I have something to share._

* * *

__

_**From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
To: lane.honnor.1996@blackstock.edu  
Subject: Re: Re: Is there anybody out there?  
Date: 11/12/1996** _

_I did forget about your crazy trimester system. Good luck on your first  
round of finals!_

_I am going to spend Christmas in France, if I can get the visa  
straightened out. (I have a French classmate who thinks spending  
Christmas traveling is a crime. His family all speaks high school  
German, so I should be okay for five days.) We'll go to Berlin for New  
Year's; he says it will be the biggest party I have ever seen._

_Sadly, I am going to class for Thanksgiving. But I know a restaurant  
that serves more food than you can throw a stick at for about five  
marks, so a bunch of Americans are getting together to have a feast. No  
turkey, though._

_Is Mab your girlfriend or something? Half of your message was about her.  
If you are a dyke, you should tell Dad before you tell Mom. He's in the  
*theater* and if he gets mad for a minute, you can hang up on him. He'll  
calm down by the time he calls back._

_Love, dein Bruder_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
Subject: Re: Live from New York  
Date: 01/15/1997** _

_Of course, I gave you my e-mail address so you could write me, Janet! I  
didn't hang out during Christmas break because I hate you and want to  
run away from all of my high school friends._

_I *was* upset that last day, but not with you. I had a big fight with my  
dad the night before. He didn't say anything worse than usual, but I  
shouted back at him. I couldn't tell you about it because it was so  
stupid. He's mad because I know a girl from the Classics Department.  
It's not like she's even my friend, we just work on the Literary  
Magazine together. And I didn't even know Mabel was a Classics major  
until the end of term, almost. They aren't labeled._

_Anyway, tell me about that guy with maybe a girlfriend in California,  
Nathan? Did he break up with her or what?_

_xoxo Honor_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: Monthly Status Report  
Date: 2/1/1997** _

_-Academic-_

_Modern American History is hard. We're working from multiple 'primary'  
sources to put together a sequence of events (primary in quotes, because  
mostly we're looking at photocopies of things the professor has gathered  
for us) and then seeing how multiple histories of the same events match  
up to our analyses. We don't have to get the 'right' answer, but our  
answers have to make sense to a history professor, and his standard for  
proof and logic is different from an English professor._

_I am taking Modern American poetry with Professor Evans, as you  
suggested. It is amazing, and I don't understand at all why you don't  
like Modern Poetry. The attempt to say something in no more and no fewer  
words than are required is really admirable, I think._

_Math is pretty wretched. I found a tutor through the Student Center, and  
I believe I shall scrape by with a C. Let us speak of it no more._

_-Social-_

_A girl named Linda from the literary magazine dragged me off to a  
ballroom dancing class a few weeks ago, and I adore it. There's  
something about the rigid nature of the music combined with the non-  
verbal communication that makes me very happy. I am one of the tallest  
girls in the class, so I'm obligated to be the lead. This is my only  
complaint, as I'm afraid if I find somewhere proper to dance, I shall  
never learn to follow._

_I had dinner with Grandma and Grandpa last weekend. Grandpa invited a  
bunch of his favorite students around for tea. The food was good, but I  
tuned out on the conversation. Grandpa was showing them the latest  
chapter from his college ghosts book. Sarah, Melissa, and Katie had a  
triple on Fourth Ericson their freshman year, and they never saw  
anything spooky._

_-Extracurricular-_

_The playreading series is a success. I recruited readers from Seth's  
crowd, and they're all big hams. Most of the plays we've read so far  
have been what was selected from spring of last year. But we've also got  
a few things that are student translations of foreign or classical  
works, which is exciting._

_Love, your daughter_

* * *

__

_**From: editor.idletheme@blackstock.edu  
To: litmag-l@blackstock.edu  
Subject: Spring Party  
Date: 03/7/1997** _

_The spring party will be the first day of reading period. Meet in front  
Chester; we are carpooling to my aunt's cabin. So far we have two  
drivers and three cars._

_Attendees are:_

_Alex  
Babs  
Brian  
Gregory  
Jane  
Honor  
Linda  
Marcia  
Sarah  
Ted_

_Anyone else who wants in, let me know. You are especially welcome if you  
can drive in slush._

_Editor,  
Mabel M._

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
Subject: Feast of Dionysus  
Date: 3/20/1997** _

_I think I was the guest of an honor at an orgy last night._

_xoxo Honor_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
Subject: Re: RE: Feast of Dionysus  
Date: 3/25/1997** _

_The literary magazine has a party at the end of winter term. We were  
going way off campus, to Mabel's aunt's place, so I knew there would be  
booze and maybe pot. And I know that some of the people on the literary  
magazine are together, so I thought *they* might have sex, if the cabin  
was big enough._

_But we got there, and the first thing Mabel did was make everyone take a  
shower. I was the only first year who came, so I didn't say anything  
when everyone seemed to expect it. When I got out of the shower, my  
clothes were gone and a dress was waiting for me. It was dead gorgeous,  
like being draped in man-sized flower petals, and it fit me perfectly.  
When I got to the main room, a giant fire was roaring, and everyone was  
dressed *differently*, but not everyone was dressed *up*. Mabel was  
wearing a distressed, deconstructed green and red dress, but it was  
beautiful and obviously had been made for her to wear like that._

_We ate first. It was a feast, but weird: rabbit, quail, country ham,  
salted fish, oysters, nine or ten kinds of pickled vegetables (but not  
pickles!), dried mushrooms, olives, and *barrels* of wine._

_I drank at least my share of the wine, so I don't remember the exact  
course of next events, but I do know I had sex with Mabel. The parts  
involving her directly are sharp in my mind. I think I had sex with  
Gregory and Ted and Sarah as well, but I'm not that sure about any of  
them. Sarah and Ted are dating, so I may just remember them having sex  
near me. I know I remember Alex and Sarah._

_It's almost a week later and I'm still in a state of shock, but luckily  
I wasn't supposed to go home for this break. Grandma and Grandpa are  
content to believe that my math final combined with organizing the  
playreadings have killed off all brain cells._

_xoxo (but chastely) Honor_

* * *

__

_**From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: Re: MOM: Honor  
Date: 25/03/1997** _

_Mom,_

_No, I haven't heard from Honor for a few weeks. Everything seemed fine  
when I heard from her last. If she's having trouble now, ask Grandpa to  
find out if there's something going on at the literary magazine,  
especially with the editor. Honor thinks she's in love with her. Also,  
find out if she's going to pass math. If she's not, it might be as  
simple as that._

_Love, Liberty_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: Yes, I'm alive  
Date: 04/01/1997** _

_I had really awful finals, Mom. I wanted to sleep and eat for a week, so  
I did. That was all._

_I promise I will give you a better status report at the end of the week,  
when there is something to report. For now, I am taking Intro to Women's  
Studies, the second Math Class, and International Music Theory. That  
should get me through the distribution requirements, and I can figure  
out my major next year._

_Your loving daughter_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: I KNOW YE NOT  
Date: 04/01/1997** _

_{no text sent}_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: jfcohen02@columbia.edu  
Subject: Re: Freaked Out  
Date: 04/01/1997** _

_I can't deal with you if you can't deal with me. I can't tell my  
roommate or my mother or my brother, because they have to deal with me.  
And I can't tell Seth because he *doesn't* have to deal with me. I hoped  
I could tell you, but it seems not._

_Go with God, Honor_

* * *

__

_**From: svenson.seth.1995@blackstock.edu  
To: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
Subject: Where are you?  
Date: 04/20/1997** _

_I haven't seen you for three music classes, and you haven't done  
ballroom at all this term. Jenny says you still sleep in your room, but  
she doesn't know when you go to meals. You're not answering your phone  
messages, and you are FREAKING ME OUT._

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
Subject: Monthly Status Report  
Date: 05/01/1997** _

_-Academic-_

_This semester is much easier than last semester. I think I absorbed most  
of the Women's Studies material by haunting a college campus in my  
youth. I kept my math tutor from last semester, and having support from  
the beginning means I don't head off into the wilds for no good reason.  
Music Theory is a bit odd, but Seth is taking it with me (they didn't  
offer it last year, and it counts for both his distribution and his  
major.) This semester should be much better than last._

_-Social-_

_The literary magazine is just about wrapped up. The proofreaders are  
correcting the printer's proofs, and we should distribute the spring  
issue before the reading days. There's supposed to be another large  
party just after graduation, and, if it's okay with you and my  
grandparents, I may stay on to attend it._

_I've dropped the ballroom dancing. One too many stepped on toes. I may  
try my hand at fencing in the fall._

_Love, your daughter_

* * *

__

_**From: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
To: medeous.mabel.1992@blackstock.edu  
Subject: Please talk to me  
Date: 05/01/1997** _

_i need 2 talk 2 u about the spring party. i tried 2 leave an answering  
machine message, but ur tape is full._

_Pplease._

_honor_

* * *

__

_**From: medeous.mabel.1992@blackstock.edu  
To: lane.honor.1996@blackstock.edu  
Subject: Re: Please talk to me  
Date: 05/02/1997** _

_Meet me Saturday at 7 in front of the Student Union. There's a  
production of Midsummer at the Old Theater. We'll go and we'll talk  
afterward._

_Queen Mab_

* * *

__

CONFIDENTIAL MEMO  
Date: 05/07/1997  
From: Robert Snyder, Director of Campus Security  
To: William Gutheridge, Dean of the College  
RE: Missing Students Honor Lane and Mabel Medeous

Freshman Jennifer Chin reported to her RA Danielle Bunde that she had not seen her roommate since the evening of Saturday, May 3. Ms. Bunde, after making a few calls to known associates of Lane, discovered that not only had no one seen Honor Lane, but also, no one had seen senior Mabel Medeous.

She reported her findings to the Housing Manager, Professor Dora Simpson, at 10 p.m. that night. Professor Simpson immediately called Campus Security, and Officer Christopher Castle alerted the city police.

Police came to the students' rooms and searched their belongings. The students' diaries and e-mail messages were photocopied and distributed to their respective parents, in hope that they might shed some light. One e-mail from Medeous to Lane indicated that the two were to meet on Saturday evening to see a play, but the theater in question closed down in 1987. There is no evidence that they boarded any bus near campus on Saturday or Sunday.

Campus police are continuing to cooperate with city police in contacting students for further questioning. The city police have also questioned the grandparents, Professor Andrew Carter and Mrs. Susan Carter.

* * *

__

_**From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: Honor  
Date: 05/08/1997** _

_Your sister has not been seen for the past three days. It's believed she  
left campus in the company of Mabel Medeous on Saturday, and neither of  
them have been located since._

_Your father knows where they are. The police can't get to this place. If  
he isn't back in three days, I'm going to follow him. If you worry or  
you fear, listen to the record I got you the year your father and I got  
divorced. Janet and Tam made out all right, and so will the Lanes now._

_Love, Mommy_

* * *

__

_**From: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
To: andrew.carter@blackstock.edu  
Subject: Mom  
Date: 09/05/1997** _

_Grandpa, I am afraid that Mom and Dad are going to do something bad to  
look for Honor. The record she's talking about is by the Fairport  
Convention. There's a song called Tam Lin, that's some old English  
ballad. I don't see how that applies._

_Begin Forwarded Message  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------  
From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: Honor  
Date: 05/08/1997_

_Your sister has not been seen for the past three days. It's believed she  
left campus in the company of Mabel Medeous on Saturday, and neither of  
them have been located since._

_Your father knows where they are. The police can't get to this place. If  
he isn't back in three days, I'm going to follow him. If you worry or  
you fear, listen to the record I got you the year your father and I got  
divorced. Janet and Tam made out all right, and so will the Lanes now._

_Love, Mommy_

* * *

__

_**From: janet.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: liberty.lane@iastate.edu  
Subject: Come Home This Summer  
Date: 05/10/1997** _

_Your sister is safe. (We think.)_

_Your father and I made a stupid choice. We kept you two ignorant, to try  
to protect you. Your sister got trapped because she didn't know the  
danger existed._

_Come home this summer. The Green Thumb will be happy to hire you for the  
summer, and we all need to talk._

_Love, Mommy_

* * *

__

_**From: honor.lane@cornellcollege.edu  
To: svenson.seth.1995@blackstock.edu  
Subject: I'm really OK  
Date: 09/03/1997** _

_I know I left very abruptly at the end of last year, and I'm sorry I  
didn't write you all summer. I didn't have your parents' address, and it  
only occurred to me last week that if I wrote to you at the college it  
would probably be forwarded._

_Anyway, I want to say again that I am sorry and I most humbly apologize  
for my behavior at the end of term. I was distracted because I found out  
I was pregnant, and I didn't know what to do. When I went to Mabel, she  
offered to take me to St. Paul to take care of it, but when I got to the  
clinic I panicked and ran. I don't remember exactly where Mabel and I  
went, and nobody's seen Mabel since._

_My dad found me on the streets, with a pretty bad fever. He took me home  
with him to Chicago for the summer, and I made up the finals for my  
courses. And I've transferred to Cornell College and I'm living with my  
mother, so I can raise the baby._

_I don't know who the father is, so please don't ask._

_Your friend (I hope), Honor Lane_

 


End file.
